Build Rapport and Eradicate Drama With Your Co-workers
We tend to forget that we spend majority of our waking lives working. No, I’m not about to go on a tirade about work/life balance or worse, a philosophical take on having work not feel like work.
I’ll spare you.
How often are you being proactive about your relationships with colleagues? It’s rather, you have a “work bestie” or it’s someone that you vent about to your partner when you get home.
For the latter, we tend to brush it off and begin separating it with our personal lives. In a way we learn to coexist with it, because after all, it’s “just work”, right?
What’s crazy is the issues are rarely complex or dire. It’s that we don’t put an ounce of effort into it. So it may come off that you and your colleague are like oil and water, but that’s not the case.
I’ve been there and it sucks. The trick is to be attentive to the dynamics from the get-go, and put yourself in a position where it never gets that bad.
Workplace dynamics can feel a bit like deciphering hieroglyphics though– smiles that don't quite reach the eyes, and body language that speaks volumes.
Turns out, mastering the art of internal negotiations and reading those oh-so-subtle cues might be easier than you think.
Enter Robert Greene, master strategist and author of "The Laws of Human Nature." In Chapter 3, he unveils the world of nonverbal communication, and guess what? It's not just about crossed arms and shifty eyes. It's a symphony of micro-expressions, vocal inflections, and subtle postural shifts that can tell you exactly what's playing in your colleagues' minds, even when their lips are sealed.
So, how can this skill translate to your daily grind?
1. Mirror Master: Subtly mimicking your counterpart's posture, speech patterns, and even breathing can build rapport and trust. Think of it as creating a silent language that says, "I'm on your wavelength."
2. Eye Spy: The eyes are the windows to the soul, cliché but true. A genuine smile crinkles the corners of the eyes, while forced grins stay eerily neutral. Notice fleeting flickers of discomfort or excitement – they're your clues to navigate sensitive topics or capitalize on opportune moments.
3. The Power of Pause: Silence isn't awkward, it's potent. Let conversations breathe, and resist the urge to fill every gap. Observe nonverbal cues during these pauses – a furrowed brow might indicate confusion, a slight lean forward could signal eagerness. Use this intel to tailor your message, ask clarifying questions, and steer the conversation towards productive waters.
4. Decode the Dance: Pay attention to body language. Open postures, like uncrossed arms and direct eye contact, convey openness and confidence. Closed-off stances, like crossed legs or arms held tightly, can signal defensiveness or discomfort. Adjust your approach, offering reassurance or redirecting the conversation if needed.
5. Speak the Unspoken: Remember, effective communication is a two-way street. Pick up on nonverbal cues, but don't be afraid to address them directly. A simple, "I noticed you seem hesitant, is there anything you'd like to share?" can open doors to productive dialogue and clear misunderstandings before they snowball.
By mastering these subtle arts, you'll not only navigate internal negotiations with finesse, but also foster a workplace built on trust, empathy, and growth. No drama, only results..
