The Roots of Leadership
We’re not looking for a coach.
That’s what my CEO told me before I was let go from a remote role back in 2020.
“Ardi, we need someone who can optimize our CRM and drive more results.”
The explanation wasn’t exactly comforting—moments like this rarely are.
I was left scratching my head, both literally and figuratively. A sales manager who doesn’t coach? What kind of alternate reality was I in?
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These thoughts raced through my mind as I worked hard to keep a poker face. I voiced a bit of my confusion but held back from saying what the moment truly deserved.
Was this just an excuse to save money—ditch the coaching and hire more reps who’d figure it out on their own? I couldn’t say.
The job was to get results, and I had delivered. Was the problem how I delivered? Was coaching seen as the wrong vehicle?
Instead, optimizing a CRM—something you could pay an Upwork freelancer $15 an hour to do—was apparently the real agent of change.
And then it hit me.
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My coaching, and the environment I was creating for the team, was shaping the company’s culture.
For better or worse? That wasn’t my call to make.
If the CEO didn’t want the culture heading in that direction, my “coaching” wasn’t going to be celebrated. It made sense.
And honestly? It was a relief.
That clarity gave me more confidence in what I was doing. Since then, I’ve 10x’d my obsession with building teams.
That moment revealed the power of coaching: how influencing people at the micro level eventually transforms an entire system.
Coaching isn’t just a function of leadership.
It’s the tree you see above ground—but the roots? Those run endlessly beneath the surface.
Make no mistake: all the functions of leadership matter, and great leaders figure out how to master them.
But coaching? Coaching is where you should start, where you return when times are tough, and what you can thank for the majority of your success.
I’ve distilled a decade of lessons about coaching into this post.
Have a coaching story or principle that’s shaped your leadership? Share it with me—I’d love to include it in next week’s Leader’s Journal.
1. Embrace Subtle Influence
Objective: Influence behavior by modeling the values and culture you want to create.
Actions:
Set a personal standard: Start each day with a visible, consistent behavior (e.g., arriving prepared for meetings, giving credit where it’s due).
Acknowledge small wins: Publicly highlight when team members embody desired behaviors (e.g., collaboration, creative problem-solving).
Ask reflective questions: Instead of directing, ask team members, “What approach do you think aligns with our goals?” to guide them to self-discovery.
2. Prioritize Team Health Over Tactics
Objective: Focus on the emotional and interpersonal well-being of the team to drive sustainable performance.
Actions:
Check in regularly: Begin weekly team meetings with a short “temperature check” (e.g., ask everyone to share one word describing their current mindset).
Invest in relationships: Schedule informal coffee chats or team lunches to foster deeper connections outside of work discussions.
Spot stress signals: Be proactive—if someone seems overwhelmed, ask them privately, “What’s one thing I can take off your plate this week?”
3. Build Trust Through Transparency
Objective: Develop trust by being honest and clear in communication.
Actions:
Share context: Explain the “why” behind decisions, especially if they affect team goals. For example, “We’re pivoting this project because market data shows XYZ.”
Admit mistakes: If you make an error, acknowledge it quickly and share what you’re doing to fix it.
Set clear expectations: At the start of every project, write down roles, responsibilities, and success criteria, and ensure everyone agrees on them.
4. Conduct Effective One-on-One Meetings
Objective: Use one-on-ones as a dedicated space to guide, listen, and support team members.
Actions:
Prepare a recurring agenda: Include topics like progress updates, challenges, career goals, and feedback (from both sides).
Start with them: Ask, “What’s the most important thing we should discuss today?” to prioritize their needs.
End with action items: Summarize the meeting with clear takeaways, such as, “You’ll test this approach by Friday, and I’ll connect you with resources by tomorrow.”
5. Address Challenges Directly
Objective: Create a culture of openness where feedback and conflict are handled constructively.
Actions:
Frame feedback positively: Start with what’s working, then address challenges with specifics: “I noticed [behavior]. Here’s why it matters. Let’s work on [solution].”
Teach active listening: During team discussions, encourage members to rephrase what they heard before responding: “So you’re saying…”
Rehearse conflict scenarios: Role-play tough conversations in private so team members feel prepared to address them professionally.
6. Learn from Failures
Objective: Turn mistakes into learning opportunities to build resilience and a growth mindset.
Actions:
Debrief after setbacks: Use a “post-mortem” format: What went well? What didn’t? What would we do differently next time?
Celebrate effort: Acknowledge the hard work that went into the failure to show value in trying.
Create a ‘fail-safe’ culture: Share your own missteps openly to normalize learning from mistakes.
7. Lead by Example
Objective: Inspire your team by embodying the values and work ethic you expect from them.
Actions:
Be the first to act: When introducing a new initiative, take the lead: “Here’s how I’m implementing this change in my work.”
Stay consistent: Avoid sending mixed signals—if you value work-life balance, don’t send emails at 11 PM.
Own your behavior: When stressed or overwhelmed, model emotional regulation by pausing and refocusing before reacting.
Implementation Checklist
Identify one principle (above) to focus on each week.
Set 1-2 specific actions for that week, such as scheduling check-ins or running a feedback session.
Reflect at the end of the week: What worked? What needs adjustment?
Repeat and build momentum over time.
