You Win or You LEARN

I was flying from SoCal to Austin this weekend.

The wifi wasn’t working so I decided to watch Friday Night Lights for the millionth time.

This one scene has always stood out to me.

Friday Night Lights (2004) Clip “Curses” : https://youtu.be/60P1nvjTHVw?si=wxyY6Ce8QDOXTkvK

We often look at our failures and successes through finite lenses.

When you do that, the sense of winning never meets the mark.

Sure you celebrate, but after that first hangover, that “win” is already in your rear view mirror.

If you look at winning as the destination, you will be left disappointed.

You can be obsessed with it. Hell chase it with all your might, but maintain an infinite perspective.

You just won? You accomplished everything you wanted to?

Awesome. Just know this too shall pass so you’re better off focusing on growth.

When it comes to losing, you have to ditch the thought all together.

Frame it as the best opportunity to learn.

Do you view yourself as a failure?

Do you feel like giving up or feel sorry for yourself?

I’ve felt all of those and I can safely attest that there are zero benefits.

When you frame it as a learning moment, you’ll never feel like you’ve lost. Yes, I’m telling you to manipulate it all together.

This concept is difficult to grasp. it’s a constant battle for me so I’m preaching to myself as much as I am to you.

I’ve learned that with extreme competitiveness comes the highest high’s and lowest lows.

This has led to anxiety, and constant disappointment.

It’s not sustainable.

So to avoid it all together without going through the tribulations yourself, follow this guide.

Practical Guide to Shifting Your Perspective on Winning and Losing

1. Recognize and Accept Loss

• Acknowledge Loss: Understand that everyone loses more than they win. Embrace this reality.

• Reflect on Past Losses: List past failures and the lessons learned from each.

2. Reframe Your Mindset

• Infinite Perspective: See success as part of a continuous journey, not a final destination.

• Celebrate Small Wins: Break down goals and celebrate each milestone.

3. Transform Losses into Learning

• Analyze Failures: After setbacks, identify lessons without self-blame.

• Seek Feedback: Get constructive input from peers or mentors.

4. Cultivate Resilience

• Growth Mindset: Embrace challenges and see effort as a path to mastery.

• Self-Compassion: Treat yourself kindly during tough times.

5. Maintain Emotional Balance

• Separate Identity from Outcomes: Don’t tie self-worth to successes or failures.

• Practice Stress-Relief: Engage in activities like meditation and exercise.

6. Embrace the Journey

• Focus on Process: Concentrate on actions and habits, not just outcomes.

• Stay Curious: Seek new experiences and knowledge for continuous growth.

7. Leverage Support

• Build a Network: Surround yourself with supportive people.

• Help Others: Supporting others reinforces your own learning.